I am so tired. I guess that’s what I’ll write about because I’m too tired to think of anything else. So this’ll be an interesting and not at all whiny post.

I’m kinda surprised at my tiredness because I used to work eight hour shifts on my feet at the Starbucks inside of Universal Studios. NOT the one on Citywalk like everyone assumes. The one in the theme park and all the way down the escalator from hell-I mean “The Starway” (no really, that’s its official name).

Universal built a new, gigantic Starbucks closer to the entrance right after I left. They did it out of spite because they knew how much I hated the escalator. HAHAHA! No. They did it to make more money, which is the only reason a theme park ever does anything. On a related note, Halloween Horror Nights guys!!!

I worked as a “Scareactor” for HHN (That’s a cool employee way of saying Halloween Horror Nights. Just kidding. It’s not cool). I played a Walking Dead zombie who scared you once you got off of the “Terror Tram” at the plane crash zone. I can’t tell you any more about that experience right now because I will literally die of insanity remembering the torture I went through. Suffice to say, it was a VERY HARD JOB.

But even then I didn’t feel as tired as I do right now. I’ve got that song Madeline Kahn sang in Blazing Saddles stuck in my head. I don’t know the lyrics besides “I’m tired” so I’m unsure how it’s stuck in my head but, there it is. Madeline Kahn was a genius. The accent she used for Blazing Saddles was genius. I miss her.

Not that I ever got to meet or work with her. Here are some actors I have met and worked with: Laurence Fishburne, Rob Lowe, Dennis Quaid, David Caruso, Dabney Coleman, Ellen Pompeo, Amy Brenneman, Andrew Garfield and Simon Baker. Droppin’ names ouchea like a…something. Too tired for similes. But I really wanted to use “outchea” so, yay for me! (Is that how it’s used?)

Notice how many more men are on that list than women. This is because Hollywood is sexist and mean. Like the rest of the world. Sorry. I’m too tired to keep from extreme cynicism right now. The world isn’t mean.

I want to be tired from working a twelve hour day on set. Not a six hour day in a restaurant.

 

 

P.S. Could you recognize most of those actor names? I’m always surprised when people are like, “Laurence Fishburne, who is that?” and I have to say, “Morpheus from The Matrix,” to make them understand. Here is an actor guide:

Rob Lowe – Oh c’mon, you know him from Parks and Rec

Dennis Quaid – Doc Holiday from Wyatt Earp

David Caruso – Sunglasses Dude from CSI Miami

Dabney Coleman – BAD MAN from The Muppets Take Manhattan

Ellen Pompeo – Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy

Amy Brenneman – Robert De Niro’s girlfriend from Heat

Andrew Garfield – Spiderman from the Spiderman reboot movies people didn’t see

Simon Baker – The Mentalist from The Mentalist

These might not be their most recognizable roles but they are the ones I recognize them from. So maybe this isn’t a great guide after all. Too bad. I’M TIRED.

P.P.S. Autocorrect kept trying to change “Fishburne” to “Fishbone”. It is hilarious to me only due to exhaustion.