So, yeah, I think rocks can have personalities. Rocks, gemstones, crystals…I was super into all that for a while so I can tell you all about which stones bring love or money or luck. But I feel like it’s more than that. Each individual stone differs from the other. Sometimes in ways that may be hard to see. Kinda just like people. So while one piece of quartz may look similar to another, the two could have very different energy.

And now it’s all like, “Amanda thinks rocks are people! She says they have personalities and feelings!”

“Yeah! Amanda just said she feeds her rocks food and talks to them and takes em on walks!”

“She probably has sex with them too!”

And then I become the one who fucks rocks.

That’s probably how the whole Richard Gere gerbil thing happened:

“Hey, so I was in the store the other day and Richard Gere came in to look at the puppies! I was re-stocking the gerbil feed and he walked right by me! OMG girl, he’s got the hottest ass!”

“What? (takes off her headphones) Girl, all I heard was Richard Gere, gerbil and ass. I gotta call my mom.”