Awwwww no. Get on ready witcha selves cause it’s…….Jim Svejda on the raaaaaaajjjio!!!!!!!!!! It’s seven o’clock and KUSC’s nightly (at least on the weekdays) DJ James Svejda comes on to talk in his most ridiculous dialect from I know not the fuck where. I swear I’ve heard him say he’s lived in Southern California for years, maybe even grew up here. Maybe even a bar (born and raised) (I just made that up) (Wait, I did, didn’t I?) (I’ll hafta Google it) (Naw, I’m not gonna), but sometimes I can’t understand a goddamn word he says.

It doesn’t help that his voice just naturally kind of swallows itself. It is very low and throaty and he takes these irrational pauses. The rhythm is a mystery that comes flying out of nowhere to smack you in your earballs. You think maybe he’s done because there’s been a full five seconds of complete silence but no! All of a sudden he chokes out a few more arcane observations or opinions on whatever piece is next to come.

And most of the music he plays is on a rather dissonant anti-melodic bent. Come on dude. A lot of us are still in traffic, it’s dark, it’s time to calm down. Stop playing a-tonal weirdness in your favorite 5/8 time signature, I need to de-stress.

That all being said, I don’t know what I’d do without Jim. One evening I looked at my phone, saw it was seven and heard a different DJ. I nearly had a fit. I was composing my irate email to KUSC when I remembered it was Saturday. I sighed with relief and deleted the email. (I’m lying! I never wrote that email, I only thought about writing it.)

He is talking right now. I’ve no idea who he just said composed the last piece. He’s explaining how the next composer was shy and…nervous? I miss about three words out of every five. But just the rumbly mumbly sound is enough. And for some reason he has chosen to play some classical guitar which is kinda my jam so…thanks Jim. I love ya dude.